Switch
by Sunny Tells
Summary: Shy and innocent, that's what she is, and why he wants her. Beauty is the darkness and the troubled is the light. But maybe, all it's needed is a switch.
1. It's always him

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer is the owner of all things Twilight related.**

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**It's always him**

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Blue eyes, like the sky and the ocean and everything worth seeing follow me while I grab my backpack and tie my bike.

They're always watching.

Those blue eyes of his.

I blush and blush and tip toe to the front door, it's raining and I don't want to fall on my arse. It's already pretty flat as it is.

I grab my books and consciously put them inside my brown well worn backpack. I've had the same one since seventh grade and I know I should change it, but I doubt Charlie will give me money for a new one.

I make my way to my first class, right at the end of the main building, still consciously. I can feel it, his eyes, on my back.

I hurry, still tippy toeing and look to the ground.

Don't let them see you, don't...

"Hi Bella!" Long thing but surprisingly strong arms hug me to a warm slender body.

Alice has been my best friend since eighth grade. That counting you can call your only friend your best.

Alice is a tall girl, around 5'8, and has all the right curves considering how thin she is. She models for a few agencies, and with a face like hers I know one day she'll be all over the magazines and not only in the country. Her eyes are greenest than grass during spring and framed but the longest and thickest black eye lashes. Alice's skin is so pale and flawless it looks surreal, and her jet black hair makes her look like taken out from a Japanese anime.

Which brings me back to trying to stay unnoticed.

Alice is a popular kid, everyone loves her, some girls envy her and most guys want to date her. I'm honestly intimidated by her but I love her nonetheless.

"Hi, Aly girl." I hug her back, awkwardly putting my head over her chest.

I'm a midget. Standing at 5'1 with boring brown hair and dirty hazel half honey coloured eyes, I'm nowhere near being beautiful. My skin is equally white as Alice's but whilst hers looks this pretty glowing soft creamy alluring white mine looks pasty.

"Another bad day, huh?"

She knows I deal with stuff on a daily basis. From my dad's oblivion to anything but his work, my mum leaving with her co-worker two years ago, my non-existent social skills to my lack of self love.

Aly is the only one who knows I tried to OD back in eighth grade, and funnily enough, that's the way we became friends.

We were at a party when I got the call saying my mum was finally gone.

She had been arguing with dad for as long as I could remember and that night, enough was enough.

Mum left with Brian, her younger co-worker, to God knows where in an attempt to leave her old life behind. According to dad's words that night, she was tired of being a devoted wife but mostly a mother. It was my father who had always wanted kids. Being ten years my mum's junior he rushed her into having a baby. Mum never hided her distaste, she was never affectionate but her leaving my dad broke the last decent piece of him, pushing him to the depressed bitter man he now is.

After thirty minutes locked in the second floor bathroom of the Newton's house with my dad on the phone I broke down and emptied every bottle I could find.

Aly was the one who found me, I had forgotten to lock the door. She made me puke and held me while I cried and just like that, I had my first friend since forever.

"Oh Bella." I hear Alice's voice at my side and look at her, who is now sitting by my side.

"Sorry," I apologise. It is a tendency of mine to slip into memories or day dream. It always gets me into trouble.

I feel a burning sensation in my head that goes down, lower down to my spine and makes chills appear from whitin me making my skin rise. Turning my head I can see his blue eyes again, he's watching. He always is.

Mr. Mc Carty enters the classroom and as usual all noise stops. Emmet Mc Carty is probably the nicest yet strictest teacher this school has ever seen. He's in his forties and his black hair has disappeared from half of his head, but not today. Mr. Mc Carty has shaved his head and surprisingly enough he looks better that way. He's a good looking man, about Aly's height and a bit on the lanky side, but with the most beautiful baby blue turquoise shinning eyes. Anyone would think he and Alice are related.

The class is boring but it's not. It's an advanced class and Aly and I are the youngest here, her being a junior, me somewhere around being a freshman. Most of the boys and girls are seniors already. _He_ is a senior.

I try to do my best, this subject is hard. Even though I'm smarter than most and the school has given me permission to try quicken my studies I'm still fifteen whilst most of them are turning eighteen soon. It intimidates me as much as Alice's beauty does, as _he_ does. I'm the baby in the class, I'm an easy target. They know this.

By fourth period his eyes are still on me. They've been these past two weeks. I don't know what it is but it makes my stomach turn and knot and all over again until I feel icky sick.

I can't eat my lunch and try to rush and tip, tippy toe to my bike.

"Isabella."

I stop, sneakers covered by muddy water and turn until I'm looking so high up my neck hurts and so does my chest.

It's him.

It always is.

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**Sunny Tells.**


	2. Suck

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer is the owner of all things Twilight related.**

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**Suck**

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Blue eyes shine but darken and search for something on my face.

I think, hard, but I cannot find a reason as to why his brows are scrunched together.

All of the sudden, he grins, a devilish too manly yet sweet covered boyish grin that knots my stomach further.

"You're always running."

I want to reply, tell him I don't- because I don't. I tippy toe, I don't run. But I stay silent and my neck is still hurting. He's so tall.

All six feet five inches come closer, making me look like a little kid and I grab my backpack tighter. He scares me a little, but I happen to have a crush on him too.

He's the bad boy, the playboy, the joker and the guy your father would kick in the boys if he cared. But mine doesn't, so I guess I'm okay for now.

"It's gonna rain, why don't you ride with me? I'll take you home." He looks innocent enough.

"I don't know Edward…"

I'm scared. He hangs with Aly's current boyfriend, James, but still… Edward scares me.

"Come on little girl, I'm not gonna eat you." Edward laughs at that, carefree and pearly white, and all sorts of weird snakes move inside my tummy. He looks down at me, still smiling and I feel myself nod, still with my head tilted up.

I feel his hand in the back of my head tilting it back down. His had is so big it curls easily around the back of my skull, I'm so tiny I want to curl under my bed. I want to be tall and model like, just as Aly is. I'm sure Edward thinks I'm a kid.

"What about my bike?"

"Trunk, it'll fit."

My bike, amazingly, fits. Edward drives a big car, I don't know its name and I want to ask him but I'm too shy for that.

I sit and he buckles my seatbelt before turning the engine on. I blush and chew on the inside of my lip. I hate biting it because it's so full I look stupid, so I just chew and chew until I feel blood pouring into my tongue. I make a face and Edward looks at me.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Bit the inside of my lip, no biggie." My answer comes out so soft and low I doubt he has heard me, but he has. He stops the car when we reach a red light and turns his head so he's facing me.

"Lemme see."

I show him my lip and the little indentation and he comes closer. My breath all but stops when he's so close I can smell his cologne. I let my lip go and Edward catches it with his teeth, then sucking on it.

"Just a bit bloody." He smiles and starts driving again and I just sit back with my eyes huge as saucers trying to control my now ragged breathing.

I've never been kissed. And I don't know if this counts as kissing. He sucked my lip. What does it mean?

Times like this are when I wish my mum would have talked boys with me or that my father hadn't be so overprotective until things with my mum got so bad. I went from being inside a bubble where daddy kept me from all harm to being thrown in the real world with no advice whatsoever.

I need to call Alice.

"And... we're here."

He's acting like nothing has happened. Like he didn't suck my lip and had my blood inside his mouth. If I didn't know better I would think he's just like the vampire from that movie I saw with Aly, but I know better. That Edwin guy was swoony and extremely well mannered compared to Edward Cullen.

God, I'm nervous. I need to say something so I can leave.

"Thank you!" I squeak out. I cringe; my voice is such a traitor.

"Nothing to thank me for, little girl. It was a pleasure, really." He's looking at me like he wants to eat me.

He said he wasn't going to.

But he does, slowly he brings his face close to mine and I close my eyes when his soft, wet lips kiss me.

I move awkwardly at first until I can follow his rhythm and then he's licking my lip making me gasp. Before I have time to think about it, his tongue is dancing against my timid one, exploring my mouth. I try to kiss him back but I know I suck at this and I can feel my rounded cheeks growing hotter with each passing second. He's so eager and I just can't follow.

Finally, he pulls back, gazing into my eyes with a glimmer I cannot identify.

"Go out with me."

What?

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**Sunny Tells**


	3. I hear myself say yes

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer is the owner of all things Twilight related.**

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**I hear myself say yes**

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Looks like Edward is being serious because he's waiting for me to answer.

I can't wrap my mind around this, why would Edward Cullen want to go out with me?

I think hard, as I usually do. Trying to find a reason as to why he's asking me out. I'm not pretty enough for his standards, I'm not outgoing enough for that either, my clothes aren't fashionable, I look like a kid, he...

He is kissing me again. And Edward pulls back before I can even try to kiss him back.

I'm stunned.

"You have the most kissable lips, pout again and I'll kiss you back little girl."

He likes my lips? They look so out of place, so full on my pasty face. I don't like them.

Edward is still waiting for me to answer. I'm not so sure about going out with him, the thought itself puts me on edge and I can't see a way of me not ending up hurt. But despite these thoughts I can hear my voice say:

"Okay"

He beams and kisses me again, this time putting his large hand around my neck and holding me in place whilst his tongue finds refugee in my mouth. I don't think I'll ever get used to this feeling. Feeling that if it wasn't so good I'd think I'm about to throw up by the way my stomach is getting full of worms. These cannot be butterflies.

"Friday, seven, I'll pick you up, is that okay?" Even though he's asking he's smiling so big and so high it looks as if he knew my answer already. Maybe he is high... nope, normal pupils.

"Yeah." I feel awkward. Again.

I want out.

Sensing my distress Edward opens his door and so do I. Just as he predicted it's raining and he tells me to go wait in the porch so I do. After he's given me my bike back I stand still, with my head painfully tilted looking into his sea deep eyes until he kisses me softly and says goodbye.

Inside my house it feels cold and I miss Edward's warm lips. I've talked to him more times I can count with my fingers and toes and I've crushed on him as many years as fingers I have in my hand. Edward Cullen was my first crush and still is. It doesn't mean this doesn't look rushed in my eyes though.

I try to make my homework, knowing well it's futile but Alice's working now, doing some photo shoot for a girly magazine I've never read or heard of.

I tap, tap and tap again my pencil over the white unwritten page and sigh, giving up. I'm driving myself crazy. I need to call Aly and any attempt at making homework now won't go further than a couple of lines.

I make myself a sandwich but end up eating half of it. I do make some pasta and salad for Charlie because I hate him drinking on an empty stomach. I'm just thankful he's not a violent drunk, but it scares me anyway.

I shower and the hot water relaxes my muscles and turns my ghost white skin a pretty flushed pink, I _almost_ look alive.

The scent from my soap fills my senses and I love the smell of oranges and milk coming from it. That soap is the only thing I spend a good sum of money on but I wouldn't have it any other way, the smell is just too good to resist.

Wrapping myself in a white fluffy towel that swallows my body whole I brush my teeth and then close the tap.

I tippy toe back to my room and put my pyjamas on.

I crawl under the cold sheets and put socks on when my feet get icy. I rub them and rub until they get warm and after looking at the clock I take the phone and dial Aly's number.

I have to be quick since I don't have a cell phone and Charlie pays for the line so once Alice has picked up her iPhone I hurry into my explanation of today's events.

Alice is all "oh my god" and "no way" and "when are you two going out?" and I just bit my thumb and answer her curtly.

She tells me we're talking about this in the morning and to please sleep because I look tired as hell as it is. I roll my eyes and reply I will, then saying goodnight and finishing the call.

I look and look and just stare at the ceiling for what feels like centuries. The plastic shining stars mocking me.

There's no way I'm sleeping well tonight.

Unless...

Hello pills.

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**Sunny Tells**


	4. Odd Xanax

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer is the owner of all things Twilight related.**

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**Odd Xanax**

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Aly and I talk in the morning. She's all squeals and hair flipping. It's happening, slowly but surely, Aly is becoming a model.

It feels odd and my skin feels funny, my heart racing, so fast I think I'm getting sick. My best friend is changing, right in front of my eyes. She's dating James because he's the most bad arse guy she could find. She's too girly, always has been, and he gives her this edge... Alice is like our queen right now, partly because of her glamorous aura and also because of whom she's dating.

It definitely feels odd.

As much as I want to hear her out when she tells me to be focused on any sign of danger, I can't. I don't even know what she means by that. She says we're talking, soon. I don't even know what she wants to talk about. I know the bees talk, heard it already and I don't plan to hear it ever again.

"What are you doing Isabella?"

I jump and drop my books on the floor. Well not exactly, one falls right onto my big toe, and it hurts. My eyes fill with tears and I pick the books up quickly so he won't see me.

He does though.

"Aw, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. C'mere."

I'm suddenly face to chest with Edward. He's rubbing my back in soothing circles, or oval shaped or triangular, or whatever they are. I'm so failing trig.

"Are you hurt little girl?"

He's looking me in the eyes now and I couldn't feel more like a child — he's scrunching. I shake my head because I'm too embarrassed to speak and honestly a bit shocked. He's being so sweet.

"Alright, lets go. I'll walk you to class."

Edward takes my books and we make our way to class right in the opposite side of the building. He is walking, me... limping. He laughs a bit and has an incredulous yet amazed look in his eyes. Edward kisses my forehead once we reach the classroom and I can feel the other students already gossiping.

The worms dance and dance in my belly. I'm so going to puke.

"Be good," Edward lowers his mouth to my ear and I shiver from head to hurt toe, "when you're not with me."

I don't know what that means and he can see it in my eyes, it only makes his smile widen.

"What did I say about pouting?"

I'm getting more confused by the second so I just shrug and thank him before the teacher arrives, Mr. Molina doesn't like tardiness but he sure arrives five minutes late almost every class.

Edward pecks me on the lips once and I can feel the back of my head growing hotter and the worms dancing, someone's throwing daggers my way. And there goes my attempt at being invisible in his school.

I make my way into the classroom, always looking at the greyish floor. It needs to be cleaned and I try to think about all the germs living in this classroom's floor and not exactly about the ones talking.

I sit far back, close to the windows on the right side of the room and I couldn't be happier when Mr. Molina makes his way inside. His clothes are rumpled and I can hear some snickers, most of the guys are making silly faces by wiggling their eyebrows. I know I'm missing something here because Mr. Molina looks pissed, but I have no idea what that is.

I take advantage of the small rant Mr. Molina is now going on and on in front of Mike Newton and Ben... something, and take a Xanax since the worms are getting worse and my mind is spinning. They're prescribed and I actually go to a shrink every month but Alice hates my pills. I think my trying to kill myself is still too fresh in her memory. It was years ago and I don't think like that anymore, at least not all of the time, but I'm screwed up in the head and Aly knows it. That's why she's my only friend.

Mr. Molina is furious and he gives us a lot of homework that I won't be able to finish. Trig is my only weakness when it comes to school. I'm good at everything, academically, but trig. And maybe, just maybe, art. But I'm not taking art this year.

The xanax is in full gear when I reach the parking lot and a little voice in the back of my head tells me I shouldn't drive my bike. But hearing voices isn't something a sane person would do so I climb my bike and make my way home anyway.

I only manage to make a few blocks until I crush right into a big car.

_His_ car.

Sweet baby Jesus, why?

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**Sunny Tells.**


	5. Daddy

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer is the owner of all things Twilight related.**

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**Daddy**

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"What the hell little girl?"

Edward doesn't look mad at me but he isn't happy either. He grabs my arm and puts me on my feet as if I weighed one stone. I sway a bit and his eyes turn into tiny slits with fire blue irises.

"Are you drunk Isabella?" He's looking at my face waiting for something, maybe glassy eyes or red nose, but I'm sober.

"No." My answer is curt but still soft and polite. I'm making a small hole on the muddy floor besides the road with my sneaker. He's too tall, I'm afraid of being rude to him. And he has kissed me and asked if I'd go on a date with him. Yeah, I can't be rude, I was taught better.

"Then how, in the name of God, did you crash against a parked car?"

Oh blimey, the car was parked?

Edward is getting agitated and I'm afraid my answer won't calm him down one bit.

I clear my throat before speaking, I'm nervous. "Hum, well, huh… I had to take my anxiety medication and —"

He doesn't let me finish. "And you decided to ride your bike. Bloody hell, Isabella!" He's running his palms from forehead to chin, over and over again. His face is going to get red.

"I'm sorry?"

Apologizing is the only thing I can do. Well that and looking if I damaged his car. There's a small scratch right below the left light. It's new so I know my bike caused it.

"Sorry about your car too," I say, because he's still saying nothing. He's looking at the sky now.

This is so awkward I'm glad I took my meds or the worms would have made me puke already. Although taking my med caused this in the first place, huh…

"It's nothing. I'll take you home."

Edward sighs and stands in front of me. He lowers his head and kisses my forehead again. I'm starting to think he does it because of our height difference.

The ride isn't silent, he has a catchy song on and the lyrics are always the same so by the end of it I'm mouthing the words. Edward laughs and puts the song in repeat. I smile and tap my fingers against my thighs.

Once my bike is secured to our porch and we're both standing close Edward kisses me again. It feels good, like tingles on my lips and warm chocolate in my tummy. I like it.

He finishes the kiss with a soft peck and pulls away. I try not to pout really hard, I like kissing him — a lot.

"Stay out of trouble," Edward says while pinching my cheek with his fingers. I swat his hand away playfully; I'm not a little kid.

"Yes Daddy." I'm scoffing but Edward chokes on his saliva and then licks his lips.

He looks my way before getting into his car and I don't get why his gaze is suddenly so intense or why he speeds like a maniac.

I, most definitely, will never understand boys.

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**Sunny Tells.**


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